NYC Move: Its been almost ONE YEAR!!😮

Truly unlike any other place I've lived.

Stay tuned for tips + advice that has helped me along the way.

I meet so many people who marvel at the idea of living in New York City. I get it. I mean it is New York City. This city has been glorified in movies, shows, plays, reels, just about everywhere my entire life. I get the appeal of visiting NYC—100%. Living, however, is a different story- at least in my experience. I am a mostly simple person. I love being outdoors– going on quiet walks and feeling the wind on my skin, going for drives, reading books on the patio, random hikes, and just plainly being outdoors without the thought of being inundated by people, salesmen, noises and worst of all: the city smells- smells very much unique to NYC 🤢

I hope I didn’t paint the country gal picture though because I do enjoy many aspects of city living. Here in New York, you have access to virtually ANYthing. From “I never even knew this was a thing” daytime activities, nightlife experiences, bomb restaurants and cafes from every part of the world (listen… Uzbek bakeries are top tier) to just finding yourself in the middle of an exciting day without the hassle of making any plans. Whatever your niche is, there is a community for you. I love that. New York State is one of a kind because it feels like multiple cities in one where you can escape the never-ending traffic and opt for boat rides across the city, escape the city’s hustle and bustle and drive upstate for the day or any of the nearby tri-state cities. Options are limitless. 

And obviously this doesn’t come without: COST.  New York is incredibly expensive. I’m talking $8 cereal boxes expensive. Like who would have thought eating Fruit Loops would be a luxury?? As a young woman starting her career, I am quickly learning how to say NO, staying in my lane and understanding the necessity of living below your means. Though I’ve always been the person who loves a good deal and knows how to save money; there’s another side of me that needs to be tamed: the soft life hunny. In the recent past, whatever I wanted I didn’t think twice of getting. Whether it was my favorite meal on any given day, changing hairstyles like its lipstick, a pair of cute shoes for the next season, an outfit for the weekend, a spa trip, or an overseas trip. I purchased first and reasoned later. Not the best habit. And some advice: the trip can wait. I’ll say it again for my people who are thinking of booking that overseas or *heck* that domestic trip and you know it’s not the most responsible thing for this season…stop tracking that flight and say no. Aunty or uncle please- your future self will THANK you. Anywho, that was a tangent. My spirit was telling me that word was for someone, though.

I was no stranger to impulse buys, and living in New York City has a way of straightening you out real quick. And I am not called to live from paycheck to paycheck and you aren’t either. So here’s a few lessons I am learning to maximize my time here in the Big Apple— emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially. 

A few lessons that’s keeping me -sorta- sane:

1. Set work boundaries. Monday-Friday, (and some Saturdays), I am constantly giving every part of myself to my students, work, grad school and other responsibilities. After 7pm, everything is silenced. The emails, the grading, the planning, the meetings, no no no no. 

2. Make a to-do list of FIVE things that need to be completed on that day. Having a never ending to-do list creates stress and anxiety because ultimately everything never gets done and that's discouraging. Instead of writing down twenty ideas that need to be completed that day or month, try to do a daily list or short-term list of things you want to achieve. Small wins go such a long way. Even items like fixing your bed in the morning feels great when checked off and provides a sense of accomplishment needed to jumpstart the day.

3. Spend time in PRAYER. This should be number one, honestly. The mornings I spend time with my First love sets the tone for the day. I try to spend time with Jesus in the mornings and evenings before I sleep. Right now, it’s pretty unstructured so once I get consistent, maybe I’ll blog about that revelation. Because it’s been tough- ngl.

4. SAY NO. These are un-work related boundaries. I am meeting so many people and it’s easy to get lost in the sauce. Never ending lunch or dinner plans, extra long conversations, getting invited to this or that place…whew. It’s a lot. I love meeting and getting to know people, but honestly..it’s become a lot very quickly. So yes, understand it’s not every event you must show face. It’s not every person you must give time and energy to. I am not saying to be dismissive or unwilling just for the sake of it, but be sensitive to your needs and when you are running low and spend time rejuvenating yourself. 

5. Create a monthly budget and STICK to it. Write down every single expense and make sure you are keeping up with all the money you are earning. Manage your money and cut out unnecessary spending. Re-wear that fit and take no pictures, it’s that easy right? Lol. *No shopping this month*

6. Take the subway. It’s not every time Uber. 

7. Rest is just as important as grinding. Spend one day every week doing something you genuinely enjoy, alone or with a loved one. This city drains you in unique ways so this is a major key. I’ve never seen sleep deprivation like the way I’ve witnessed in New York. You don’t have to make time for all of the things. This ties in to lesson number 4. This is important. 

8. Find your community. Stay true to your values and morals. You will meet and find the right people. This takes time though. Be patient with yourself and if you are feeling alone, find healthy ways to connect. Websites like meetups are a cool way to meet new, like-minded people. Join a new church, attend dope events around the city, reach out to your favorite guy or gal friend. Just don’t isolate yourself. 

There’s so much more I can add. But I’ve given enough for us to chew on. At the end of the day, life is about acquiring and exercising wisdom. The Bible speaks a great deal about wise versus foolish decisions. Walk in wisdom daily and watch your days produce more peace, joy, happiness, and contentment. 

Some of my favorite verses as it relates to wisdom:

1. Ecclesiastes 7:12- For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.

2. Matthew 7:24- Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

3. Proverbs 24:3-6- (3) By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; (4) And by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches; (5) A wise man is strong, and a man of knowledge increases power; (6) For by wise guidance you will wage war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.

4. The entire book of Proverbs.

Hope this blessed you!

Until next time~

Ash💋