Self-Assessment: Do you know how powerful your thoughts are?

Is Fear Controlling Your Life? 🤔

Scriptures say 'Be of good faith your faith has made you well'. But is fear, doubt and insecurities still holding you back?

Now, now.. we can't blame everything on COVID-19, can we? It always amazes me when I have conversations with people and they say “oh I could never do that”, “Oh, you’re doing cool things, that’s for you not me”. Or similar self-limiting responses. I’m not writing this blog as if I’m the DON of life or 'I’ve arrived, here’s how to be a hot shot'. No. I realized how some of my thoughts were keeping me in chains. If you’re in a similar place, let’s get into it! 

First things First, How to tell if you’re living in fear:

1. Do your Thoughts control your actions?

This is a big one. I saw this saying “Sow a thought, reap a deed. Sow a deed, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.” In Millennial Translation, this means in order to do a thing you have to first think it. If you can see it, you can achieve it. Your thoughts lead to attitudes; attitudes lead to actions; actions lead to those achievements. It all begins with the thought life. Your achievements will be the sum total of your thoughts.

2. You’re a perfectionist. ‘

If you strive to make sure that everything is perfect, then you might be living in fear. If you weigh alllllll the cost of doing something or not before you move forward, you’ll be hesitate on taking any action at all. It’s healthy to weigh the pros and cons of a decision, especially big ones. It’s unhealthy to become paralyzed over them. Perfectionism is a sneaky little devil because your life will be controlled by what you cannot do and how you might fail.

3. A risk? Oh no! You never go outside your comfort zone

Living in fear means you won’t take as many risks either. Where some people will do courageous things, (like quitting a job they’re very unhappy at, choosing peace instead of drama, speaking up for themselves, breaking off a toxic relationship, moving to a new state/country, starting a business, starting a new work-out/going to the gym, learning how to do their makeup, the list goes on) you might feel more comfortable playing it safe or going about things the same way you always have. I’m not saying life is all about newness, adventure or excitement, but every once in a while, it’s OKAY to take a chance on something you’ve never done or is out your comfort zone. Yes, this could be a personal preference. Or it could be a sign of cowardice. Which one is it for you? 

4. Procrastination…it hurts typing it too 😅

We all have priorities. Easy tasks or much harder ones. If you love to procrastinate and choose it each and every time, this could be a tell-tell sign that… *you guessed it* you are living in fear.  I mean, some could be laziness or.. it could be the latter. Some tasks you need a certain level of energy for and postponing to a later time may be most advantageous, I get that and I’m not referring to that. We all know what procrastination is so I won’t get into the details. 

5. Are you constantly playing the blame-game?

It’s easy to push our hopes, desires and dreams aside when we have excuses: My job/school overwhelms me, I don’t have the money or the resources, I don’t have time. Or blaming your family or friends for past hurts and transgressions. I know the pain and scars are real. And I also know... it’s time for healing. If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. If we continue to hide behind blame and excuses, we will stay hidden forever. And this negative feeling will be driving your life. Disrespectful, right? 

These are the top 5 reasons that most affected me. There are several more, but for the sake of time, we’ll end here. So why is fear dangerous? 

I’m glad you asked. Fear is dangerous because if we let it, it will keep us locked up in the prison of the comfortable and predictable, which prevents us from reaching our true potential. Living in fear causes a double conundrum where you’re unfulfilled with the status quo yet afraid to pursue anything better. 

I am in no way diminishing the very real effects of anxiety and mental health. I am an advocate for counseling, therapy, exercise, good diets, and making sure you’re putting your best foot forward daily. I understand this could be tricker for others, but I know we are meant to live a life free of unhealthy limitations and stressors. The way I choose to look at life is that it happens FOR me, NOT to me. Truly understanding and accepting this concept is the first step to fulfillment. When you put an end to the blame game and start letting God be God in your life, endless possibilities open up to you.

What helps me:

• As I mentioned, I am proactive about my life. Not reactive. Life happens for me, not to me.  I prioritize my faith and my ability to walk with the Holy Spirit. Jesus enables me to understand bits and pieces of the future and plan accordingly. If there is something unexpected that comes along the way, I know it’s nothing surprising for God and soon I will be back on my merry way. 
• Be Growth-Minded. People often give up on what they want because they believe that reaching their goal is beyond their abilities. You don’t believe you deserve a life of peace and joy? Welp, you won’t have it. You don’t believe you’re called for greater? Welp, maybe you’re not. How could you change your life if your goals are unattainable? Most successful people have gone through many obstacles, and many of them don’t have a fixed mindset. They stay flexible and when a setback comes, they overcome it. Simple. Always always always seek a solution. Don’t stay at a problem. 
• ADAPT. We are built to adapt. Whether good or bad, experiences are meant to teach you one thing or another about yourself and the world around you. 
• Lastly, be PRESENT. Live in the moment. Stop missing your life. Put your phone down. Step away from the computer. Take up a new hobby. Meet new people. Start living instead of worrying.

Still don’t know if your thoughts are holding you back? If you want to know what is in your heart, just listen to what escapes your mouth. Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). There is a fierce battle raging for the control of your mind. But, let me tell you something wonderful. God created you SO marvelously where you can’t think two things at one time. So how do you keep from thinking what’s wrong? Just think what’s right. 

YOU GOT THIS! WE GOT THIS! 2021 is yours for the taking! If God is for you, no one can be against you. WHO BABY? No oneee 🗣